Art to heart dating
Either they were apathetic to engaging with women one-on-one, or they actually believed that ambiguous social interactions were enough to keep things moving — well, it kept them moving alright: toward frustration and resentment on the part of the women who couldn't figure out where they stood with these guys.In retrospect, I think we all could've used a good verbal shin-kicking to yank us out of our alternate realities.
I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I was afraid that she might have misunderstood my intentions — I mean, when I'm "hanging out" with friends, I don't pay for their meal, wear my Friday night best, or gently touch their back while crossing the street.
I'm not saying that you've got to be fully mature to pursue a woman, or no man would ever get married.
What I'm saying is, if you've got a drinking problem, major credit card debt, serious daddy/mommy issues, a porn addiction — if you've dropped out of college multiple times and you can't keep a job, please don't invite a woman into that mess.
So I said, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you think this relationship is? I'm not sure where this relationship is ultimately going, but when I meet a woman who is as beautiful, intelligent and spiritually mature as you, I don't spend time with her so that I can make a new 'friend.' I've got plenty of those. I just want to make sure you understand that." "Oh," she said, seeming taken aback by my forwardness.
" "I guess I would call it a really special friendship," she said. I knew it wasn't a perfect execution, but it was a vast improvement from the days when I would have freaked her out with some over-the-top, premature diatribe about pursuing marriage.