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They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

Q: What's the most common sleeping position of a man? You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long he will last. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife? Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”The first two guys were amazed. If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. Q: What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A vulture waits until you're dead before ripping your heart out.

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